What to do in Somatic Movement when you ‘can’t do it like that’

Having that feeling of ‘I can’t do that!’ is always tricky - read on, or hear me speak more about it here.

Is learning something new always smooth and easy? Why no, of course not - we all know that!

And sure enough, when you get started doing this Somatic Movement work, and you hear me describing and cueing the movements, you may well have an “I can’t do it like that” moment.

This is perhaps more likely to happen if you start the work through doing recordings or in group sessions - because it’s not possible to cover every possible unique experience in those kinds of sessions of course.

You could start out with 1:1 sessions - and even though you’ll probably still have a ’no, I can’t’ moment, you will at least have personal feedback and reassurance around what’s going on.

But either way, I don’t think that in learning a new skill you can avoid those moments altogether, no matter how you get started.

Here are some examples of elements that can fox us to start with in Somatic Movement - for anyone who’s already started on this work, most likely you will recognise yourself in some of these. Some of them are my own personal experience - so you’re not alone! You might well have trouble with:

1. Being able to use the centre of the body in the Back Lift to do the work of lifting the head/leg.

2. Sensing anything in the deep muscles when doing Stuck in the Mud.

3. Having the head roll in the way that is cued in the Arch & Flatten.

4. Doing the Flatten without pushing through the feet.

5. Letting go of the glutes to let the heels flop out at the end of the Back Lift.

6. Having the shoulders press forwards/back in the way that is cued in the Washrag.

7. And lots more!

We are learning something so unfamiliar for our somas* when we do this work, and there are so many layers that come in over time in our learning, that there are BOUND to be some elements that we just can’t yet figure out.

So what do we do in those ‘I’m not getting this’ moments?!! Here are some ideas for you…

1. Know that you’re not alone - and that it’s COMPLETELY ok not to have it all down just yet.

2. Remember that each cue is an invitation to explore - not so much an instruction to follow.

3. Likewise, each question is a prompt to explore your experience - there is no right or wrong answer!

4. So it’s always ok for your answer to be ’no’ (or perhaps more accurately - ’not yet’!) to questions like, ‘can you do this’ or ‘can you sense that’.

5. It’s also ok to have the answer ‘I can’t’ to a ‘how can you…’ prompt!

6. Stay curious! Allow yourself to ponder WHY that might be happening in the way that it is (or isn’t!!) - but again, there is no expectation that you have ’the answer’.

7. Understand that the layers will come in over time and that no one expects you to have it all figured out at the start. Or indeed at any point - there’s always something new to learn!

8. Give some compassion and understanding to those parts of yourself that are frustrated or disappointed (or whatever the feelings are) about not having it all figured out yet, or not being where you’d like to be yet.

9. Know that things WILL change as you do the work - when you’re ready for them, new ideas and new layers will drop in for you, and that will be the perfect time for your unique situation.

10. When you do figure out something new, it’s ok to say to yourself ‘oh, I’ve not been doing it like that’ or ‘I hadn’t understood that before’ - let’s normalise not knowing it all, because that’s what learning is all about!

11. Try to be as unjudgemental of yourself and where you’re at and your progress as a friend might be - there’s no one harder on ourselves than ourselves!

The really really important thing to remember, is that it’s ok to be EXACTLY where we are right now. And that knowing it all, or doing it ‘correctly’ is not the aim. The aim is to explore and to learn - and part of that is definitely not knowing it all, and making mistakes, and getting frustrated - as well as celebrating our insights and progress as they happen.

It’s just not possible to learn something new without mistakes, misunderstandings, mis-steps - and we welcome them all in Somatic Movement!

Get in touch, come and meet us, or book a 1:1 session. Find a reparative learning experience, with no judgement - as you learn about your amazing soma, and help it to do all of the things you want and need to do in life. We love this practice - we think you will too!

*Soma = your living body as you experience it.

Emilie Leeks

Author

Emilie is a heart-centred life mentor and space holder, supporting those on a healing path. This is not an easy journey, and often we can find ourselves losing our way. Emilie's work meets you where you're at, with beautiful, accepting support and connection, and weaves that support with practices and explorations in self-compassion, body connection, and a return to a deep trust in ourselves. Note: all blog post content which refers to them, has been read and agreed to by Emilie's children.

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